Okay, so we didn't have the ideal delivery with Joshua that we were expecting. When Joshua was born he had the cord wrapped extremely tightly around his neck. The cord was so tight that Joshua was totally blue and not breathing, even the cord was blue and sunken. As his head came out and the doctor saw the cord like that, she actually cut it as I was pushing to prevent it from strangling Joshua. She told me to push over and over without waiting for contractions because we had to get him out of there immediately. Luckily he was really low and I only pushed for 9 minutes before he came out. (The whole delivery ended up being about 9 1/2 hours)
As soon as he came out they set him on my stomach and started to wipe him down and try to get him to cry, which didn't work. I didn't even get to hold him before he was whisked away to the other side of the room and the nurses and NICU nurses tried to get him to breathe and cry. It was frightening to see about 6 nurses working on him at the same time, it was a very panicky feeling. They eventually did get him to breathe and they let me hold him for about 2 minutes before taking him away to the NICU to hook him up to a c-pap machine and a bunch of other monitors and tubes. I was so busy watching the nurses that I didn't realize my doctor had already delivered the afterbirth and stitched me back up.
Ben went with the nurses and Joshua and stayed with him until I was ready to leave the delivery room, about an hour and a half. They wheeled me over to see Joshua for a minute before taking me to my maternity ward room. I immediately got back up after we got there and I slowly walked back to the nursery to see my baby. I stayed with him for a while before they kicked me out to get some rest. I didn't sleep much that night. We were told they would do chest x-rays and keep him on the c-pap machine until the morning when his needs would be re-evaluated at that time.
Well, when I showed back up at the nursery very early that next morning, we were told he would be there for a couple of days while they evaluated him on oxygen, monitored his breathing and heart rates, and start him on a round of antibiotics to stave off things like pneumonia and RSV as a precaution. I was heart broken to hear that it would probably be Friday before we were released. Since it was only Monday morning, that seemed like an eternity away. I was worried sick about Joshua, and my heart was grieving at the idea of not seeing Noah for a week. I called Ben, who was at home with Noah for the night, and I was just in tears over the idea of being away from Noah for so long, but under no circumstances could I leave Joshua either. Ben and my mom worked it out to bring Noah to me to visit for a while and then my mom could come pick him up before nap time and take him home and watch him until Ben got home that evening.
It was WONDERFUL to see Noah, he called out "mommy!" and ran to me as soon as he saw me, making several of the nurses say, "Aw!" :) We went into my room and watched a movie and cuddled, then we took him on a "tour" of the maternity ward. He was not allowed in the nursery itself, he was too young, so he didn't ever get to see Joshua until we brought him home. There is a little room full of free snacks (crackers mostly, and some cookies as well as juice and pop) and Noah LOVED going in to get a snack and a drink. He got to come visit me almost every single day while I was in the hospital, usually he came up to see me in the mornings when Ben came up and then one grandma or the other would pick him up and take him home for the evening. It was such an incredible blessing that our families were willing to do all the driving just so I could see my son for a little while each day.
The week was monotonous, filled with anxious times of watching Joshua's heart monitor, breathing monitor, and oxygen rate. Anxious times of trying to go down on the amount of oxygen only see alarms go off and Joshua struggle to breathe. Anxious times of trying to get him off the IV by getting him to nurse and then nervously waiting for the glucose results to come back with high enough numbers. But it was also a week filled with lots of sweet cuddling times, like the first time Ben got to hold Joshua after the c-pap machine came off, when Joshua was almost 2 days old. The first time he nursed instead of relied solely on his IV, and he ate for an hour with one hand laying on my collar bone. And it was heaven to be able to go in, pick Joshua up, and cuddle with him for as long as I wanted with no interruptions (other than nurses checking his vitals). I did make a few friends with some of the night nurses, we were the only baby in there so often while I nursed Joshua they would come visit with me and chat, which was a lot of fun. It was hard to be in the hospital that long, it was rather monotonous to make the walk from my room in the maternity ward all the way to the nursery where Joshua was, and I made that walk several times a day, which was tiring after just having a baby! But, I got a great jump start on getting back in shape with all of that walking, starting about 2 hours after delivering a baby!
Anyway, on Thursday morning we were given the good news that we would be discharged the following morning barring any unforeseen circumstances or problematic developments during the night. We were ecstatic! They told us his chest x-rays looked great (all three sets of them!) and he was off the IV, eating well, and his oxygen dose was extremely low. They told us that that night we would have Joshua sleep in the room instead of in the nursery so that we could get used to the oxygen machine we would be going home with, as well as the monitor for his oxygen levels and heart rate. Ben decided to spend the night that night to understand the equipment so Noah got to have a sleepover at his grandma's house, which he loved. We had a pretty good night with Joshua in the room, although every little sound had both of us startling awake wondering if something was wrong, and that is also why Joshua sleeps in his own room! :) Anyway, at about 5:00 that Friday morning they came and got Joshua and took him back to the nursery for a car seat test that takes 90 minutes, basically to make sure his can still breathe his oxygen while in a car seat. He passed just fine, as was expected, and so then after his next feeding we were ready to go! By the time he got done eating, we got through the discharge papers, and we got packed up and ready to go, it was about 11:00 am. We were walked out to the car by one of the nurses and we were free to go! It was so strange to be out in the real world again and realize that the world hadn't stopped around me.
When we got home, Noah was more excited about the balloons my family had put in the house than he was about the baby. He stared at Joshua a whole bunch trying to figure him out. The first time I held Joshua from his car seat, Noah came over and was looking at the baby. Then, without me saying to be careful or anything, he reached out and very tenderly patted his head and stroked his feet before saying, "Josh" and smiling. It was a darling moment! He hasn't cared too much about the baby yet, but that could be because Ben is still home from work and he likes all the daddy time. We'll see how he does when it's just mommy and the boys! Also, we have been so grateful to Ben's work, he got the whole "NICU week" off plus three days this first week home while we get back into the swing of things. He has been a tremendous support for me through this whole thing, and he is as ever a very loving and devoted father, to both of his sons.
Now Joshua is home and he is the sweetest little baby!!! He sleeps wonderfully well on his own, in his bassinet, in his own room. He sleeps at night from feeding to feeding without a lot of worry on my part, he is a fantastic nurser which is amazing for me since Noah was a terrible nurser. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't cry very much, and loves to hear my voice. It's amazing to me to feel his sweet spirit, and I am so grateful for the tender mercy of Heavenly Father giving such a calm, easy baby since I was SO worried about how to care for a needy newborn without making Noah feel pushed aside. I have been so blessed!!!
Here are some of the things I posted on Facebook while I was in the hospital, just in case I left out anything from the story! :)
June 3rd
Okay here's the update! Joshua Ron Anderson was born at 6:26 pm yesterday, weighed 7 lbs 2 oz and was 19 1/2 inches long, quite a bit smaller than Noah. I only had to push for 9 minutes because when he started to come out he had the cord wrapped tightly around his neck, so they cut the cord immediately and had me push, even without contractions, to get him out as soon as possible. He swallowed a lot of gunk and blood and had a very hard time breathing, so he was rushed over to the special care nursery to get on a cpap machine, an stomach breathing tube, an IV, an antibiotic, and monitors for his heart rate, oxygen levels, and all that other kind of stuff. They also did chest x-rays. I got to hold him for about 2 minutes before he was whisked away, and that is all that anyone has been able to hold him!! He is doing well this morning, I was able to swab some breast milk in his mouth and it did make him root a little bit which is a good sign. They have been able to turn down the cpap machine from where it was last night and they are hoping to maybe get him off it today, which means mom and dad would get to hold him! His x-rays also came back with no infection or pneumonia which is great news. He is a very handsome baby, not too much hair, and he looks like he could be Noah's twin! I will get pictures up once we can go home with him, hopefully by the weekend. He is quite peaceful, he has been sleeping on his own REALLY well, no sedation needed even with all of the stuff he's hooked up to. I already love him so much, I am just dying to hold him in my arms!! We are happy to have him here, extra prayers for him would be much appreciated. I am doing fine as well, I am WAY more mobile this time around since the pushing was so short which is nice, but I have had some severe cramping from having to push too hard too fast. I hope the pain goes away soon so I can concentrate on my little son once he's ready for more attention from his mom! Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers, this is scary but we are grateful for excellent staff and modern medicine and extra blessings that have made this a much better situation than it could have been!
June 4
Update on Josh: he is off the cpap machine!!! WAHOO!!! Ben and I have both been able to hold him a whole bunch and it's been wonderful! My family has all been by to see and hold Josh as well, and Ben's parents have been able to swing in as well. After Ben's dad (Josh's namesake) and Ben gave Josh a blessing he has really done well. He is turning into a nursing pro!!! He latches immediately and eats for a long time. This is a HUGE blessing because Noah was a nightmare to nurse. We will still be here until at least Thursday, if not a little longer. Josh isn't waking up on his own to eat, which they are worried about, and he is still requiring more oxygen than they would like to see. He is sleeping great on his own though, no sedation needed, and he has wonderful color and is very alert when he is awake. He had his first bath finally, and he didn't seem to mind it at all! He is a very peaceful spirited baby, which makes this all much easier. He loves to snuggle of course. Right now it's kind of a waiting game of trying to lower oxygen, seeing how he does, adjusting as needed, and then waiting some more. Ben is going to bring Noah to visit me for a couple of hours today which I am SO excited for!! I miss him terribly and he misses me too, so this will be good for both of us. I am so grateful for wonderful family being close by to take care of Noah while Ben and I are here at the hospital, it's a blessing to know that he is in good hands. I am anxious for a little time with him today, but I have also loved getting lots of one on one time with Joshua too. It will be nice to get home hopefully soon so we can reunite as a family! Thank you again for your prayers, we are definitely feeling them and your support is much needed for this tired and emotional mama!!
June 4, evening
Okay, one of the best remedies I know of for stressful situations is to count the positives. We just found out that Friday is the earliest we will be released, and that may be too early. I am stressed about Joshua's health, stressed about missing so much time with my Noah man (and bawling because I miss him) and then when I do get him back full time I will be bringing a baby with me that Noah can't even meet yet because he's too little to come to see him, and I am stressed that I won't be able to bring Joshua home before Ben goes back to work. So, to help me cope with all of my emotions and frustrations, here are the positives of our situation!
1. I am getting lots of great one on one cuddle time with Joshua, with no distractions and that is so precious and sweet. I could hold him all day long.
2. I am getting lots of good toddler-distraction-free time to focus on getting into a good rhythm nursing.
3. Joshua already seems like he will be a better nurser than Noah was.
4. I know that Noah is having the time of his life with all of his aunts and staying at his grandmas houses.
5. Ben has been able to be here a whole bunch to support me and to bond with Joshua, thanks to the fact that his work is willing to let him take off plenty of time.
6. Joshua is improving, slowly but surely, and it's nothing life threatening, just a slow process.
7. I get access to unlimited cookies, crackers, and juice. Plus the extended stay services of the hospital are free.
8. We have good insurance to help with the cost of all of this.
9. I am recovering remarkably well. I have been able to walk around comfortably and easily since about 2 hours after giving birth. I am not bleeding very much and everything on my end is picture perfect, health wise.
10. A woman in the hallway told me I looked like I had given birth weeks and weeks ago instead of just 2 days ago and that I was well on my way to looking pre-baby.
11. I have wonderful family, both mine and Ben's, who are willing and able to take Noah and look after him and they have all been willing to drive whatever amount they need to just to bring Noah to visit me and to offer their support.
12. Noah is plenty old enough that he won't forget me while I am here at the hospital, and instead it makes my day when he can come visit and he gets all excited to see me.
13. There are many more, but I think this post is long enough! This is probably something I should have done on my blog, instead of here, but I just needed to get this all out there so I can refer to it when my spirits are low. There is always something positive to find in every situation!
June 7
Ladies and gentlemen, Joshua has left the building!!!! That's right, we are HOME!!! Joshua will still be on oxygen for a while, but he is doing great. He is a wonderful, peaceful baby who rarely cries and loves to snuggle. We are SO happy to be home, and I love love love having both of my boys under one roof. Noah is excited to see mommy and daddy again and he has yet to figure out the baby, but he identified Josh's fingers, toes, and the monkey on his shirt. THANK YOU to all of you for your prayers, for your encouragement, and your support. I loved reading your comments and it helped me to stay sane in the hospital! I am a little nervous about adjusting to two kids when one of them has an oxygen tube trailing after him all the time, but we are just happy to be all together!
